Fasting is something I have never quite understood, so this was a helpful way to think about Lent and fasting. Through this practice we acknowledge that our appetites (both literally and figuratively) are all too often improperly aligned and malformed.
It was a mildly jarring experience to be lead from this reflection on the meaning of Lent and the nature of our appetites and inclinations into several songs in the "As the Deer" vein. What followed were songs expressing a hunger or desire for God, for His justice, etc. The contrast between these songs and the reality of human longing was striking; I had not realized before how so many of our songs assert a longing and desire that our lives and actions too often betray.
I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. (Romans 7:21-25)
There are times when I truly do feel that my soul longs for God as strongly as a parched deer thirsts for water; Lent reminds me how conflicted and ephemeral such longing often is. Perhaps a more appropriate psalm for the season would be along the lines of "create in me a clean heart, o God, and renew a right spirit within me."
Singing worship songs during Lent it becomes apparent how seldom we put the truth expressed by Paul into worship songs. Judging by popular worship music it would be possible to conclude that Christian theology affirms that human beings are naturally inclined to love God and neighbor; or perhaps more damagingly, that there is no room here for those who find their hearts conflicted and their desires mixed.
Lent has a bit of an image problem, indicative of a larger image problem that historic Christianity has in today's culture. Lent is about discipline, abstinence, reflecting on our sinfulness and the brokenness of human nature. Yet there is a holy irony in the fact that these somber features are among the strongest sources of hope; irreplaceable components of the good news the church bears witness to. For without these affirmations of human frailty and imperfection there is no room for broken people. A community that rejects Lent must also reject the broken, ambivalent creatures who cannot claim at all times to perfectly desire the good.
